Here are three updates from past letter-writers.
1. Former coworker stole my work and keeps contacting me for help
Thank you so much for publishing an answer to my question! I appreciated your advice, Alison, and the advice shared by the commentariat. It was validating to see that others agreed Lulu is, well, delulu. I do have a small update to share!
I ended up just ignoring Lulu’s emails. I haven’t heard anything else from her. But – a coworker told me they’d contacted Lulu about a system she still had access to. It was an external tool that my coworker needed to take ownership of, which required Lulu to remove herself from the account. She did, but only after being rude AF and unhelpful to my coworker, ignoring them for weeks instead of just performing one simple action.
I did “soft launch” the issue of stolen IP with my boss (the one who coddled Lulu) by asking if Lulu was working for a direct competitor. She is not, but my boss did ask why I wanted to know, so I told them. They did not really react, but that is in line with the “Lulu can do no wrong” behavior I witnessed for many years, so I was not surprised.
In the comments, people were incredulous that meetings would be moved at Lulu’s insistence…believe me, I agree with you! It’s very difficult to explain the chokehold Lulu had on management. It’s the most dysfunctional and frustrating vocational experience I’ve ever had. Imagine someone claiming they need information to do their job, only they are not really doing that part of their job, but when anyone offers to HELP with that part of the job, they throw a tantrum…it was exhausting, but the only person who was ever in the right was Lulu. We all just did what we could to avoid the blow-ups.
Lastly: I don’t work there anymore! I realized that while problem children like Lulu were gone, the systemic issues and gaslighting that allowed her to be a problem for so long were not going away anytime soon. A recruiter contacted me with a great opportunity, and I jumped at it. This all happened right around the time my question was published, so I didn’t get to interact with the comments much. However, I read every single one of them and took all the information as a lesson learned should I ever encounter another delulu Lulu!
2. My employer is revoking work-from-home but I live 300 miles away (#2 at the link)
The question of whether my inability to comply with the new hybrid standards would result in me being officially let go, or if I’d have to resign, never came to a head. HR called me to let me know I was being laid off, but instead of invoking the remote work policy (which I was prepared to challenge), they instead cited the fact that they’d recently (~2 months ago) hired an additional person in my department and the business couldn’t keep both of us.
I can’t help but think this was a very obvious attempt to avoid me pushing back on the new policies that conflicted with the terms of my hiring, as this new person’s job and mine did not overlap at all (e.g. I’m a graphic designer and she is a copywriter).
I will also perhaps uncharitably, but truthfully, say that this person—let’s call her Susan—is very bad at her job. For the first publication she contributed to, Susan submitted an article that was so poorly written that I took it to our shared boss and told her it was unpublishable. While writing/editing was not currently within the scope of my responsibilities at work, the article was so incoherent I felt I couldn’t in good conscience not say something—especially as we were an educational institution and I felt it reflected really badly on us! My boss agreed and re-wrote the article herself. It wasn’t a matter of grammatical errors or anything like that; it was a very clear lack of understanding of how to communicate in the written word.
A month after I was laid off, my boss, true to her word, contracted me to do another publication, and here’s the catch: in addition to doing the design work (my job), she also wanted to hire me to write the copy as well (Susan’s job). I quoted double my freelance rate for the additional work, and they agreed.
So, for those keeping track, here’s where it stands: they laid me off because they allegedly “couldn’t afford” to keep on both me and Susan, and now they’re paying me a much higher rate than they were paying before, to do both my job and Susan’s job, while also still paying Susan. Make it make sense!
3. I have no idea who to give my resignation to (#5 at the link)
Thanks for publishing my letter and confirming that I was definitely overthinking this! (Thanks also to Manic Pixie HR Girl for their comment advice too.)
I gave my resignation to our Chief HR Officer, who managed all of the comms across their C-suite level — including telling my brand new manager. (Fun fact! When I wrote in, I didn’t have a manager, but in the interim they hired someone who actually ended up starting the exact same day I gave my notice.)
I haven’t left yet, but your site continues to offer a wealth of resources as I close out my notice period. Thanks again, Alison!