What if I told you that your meditation practice is causing you depersonalisation / derealisation (DPDR / DDD) but mindfulness can solve the problem? Sounds weird, right? But by the end of this article, you’ll understand why that’s the case.
Let me share a secret with you. As a meditation teacher, one of the most common reasons why people come to me for meditation lessons is because they are experiencing depersonalization / derealization.
Depersonalization is a feeling of being detached from your own body, thoughts, or identity, as if you’re observing yourself from the outside. Derealization involves perceiving the world as unreal, dreamlike, or distorted. Both are dissociative experiences often linked to anxiety, trauma, or stress, affecting your sense of reality and self-awareness.
It happens all the time. New clients come to me saying that they’ve been meditating for a while, focusing on mindful breathing, and that even though it does help them to be relaxed it also makes them feel unreal. They then proceed to describe the same symptoms that I’ve heard a hundred times before. Indeed, because so many people have asked me about this I’ve become a bit of an expert in dealing with it
I’ve previously written about how you can solve dissociation by switching up your meditation practice and doing some associative meditations instead of just dissociative ones. But today I’d like to tackle the problem from a different angle and show you how you can overcome derealization / depersonalization with mindfulness.
How To Control DPDR / DDD With Mindfulness
In a moment I’m going to lead you through some wonderful mindfulness exercises that will help with DPDR / DDD. But first I need to explain one very important thing…
The Seesaw Of Association / Dissociation
I want you to think about your awareness like a seesaw. One end of the seesaw is dissociation. The other end is association. Dissociation is what you do when you practice Vipassana (seeing your thoughts and other stimuli as external things that you don’t attach to, telling yourself your thoughts aren’t real e.t.c). And association is the opposite, it’s when you attach to something such as when you experience a thought that really grips at you. Now, there are times when both dissociation and association are good. For instance, if you’ve been experiencing a very painful thought it’s good to dissociate from it so it doesn’t affect you too much. Then again if it’s something positive like thoughts of compassion, that might be a good thing to associate with. So this seesaw of association / dissociation goes back and forth, and that’s important. You don’t want the seesaw to get stuck at either end, either stuck in dissociation where nothing seems real, or stuck in association where everything feels too real and everything affects you. You want that seesaw to go back and forth, dissociating from certain things and associating with other things. Sadly, most people only ever do the dissociative exercises and that leads to issues, which I’ve discussed before.
So now we can see that the healthy way is as always the middle ground, where we are associating with certain things and dissociating with other things. So we should use our mindfulness practice as a two-way street, for both associating and dissociating. So let me show you how to do that.
Mindfulness Exercises For DRDP / DDD
1: Be mindful of association and dissociation
The very first step is to simply be aware of how you are choosing to dissociate or associate. Remember, dissociating is choosing to make things less real (have less impact on you) and associating is the opposite. Begin by noticing when you are choosing to associate and when you are choosing to dissociate (example: when you’re meditating and you tell yourself that your thoughts aren’t real, you are choosing to dissociate). You don’t want to dissociate from everything because that will cause derealization / depersonalization. In general, you want to be dissociating from negatives and associating with positives, although exactly what constitutes a “positive” and a “negative” is up for debate (for instance, stressful thoughts, although feeling painful, can actually be a positive because they warn you of potential hazards). For now, just realise that you are associating and dissociating, just be mindful of the process.
2: Meditate On Simple, Repetitive Movements
One thing we want to be mindful of is our capacity to act. Now, I’m not talking about specific ways of acting nor particular actions, but rather our autonomy, the very fact that we are acting in the first place. And the best way to do that is by meditating on simple repetitive movements. For instance, mindful walking. When walking, be mindful of the fact that you are consciously choosing to create energy in your legs that is leading to movement. Or another example, as I write this right now I am being consciously aware of the movement of my fingers on the keyboard. I’m associating with the movement and with the actions that I’m performing. This helps alleviate one of the main symptoms of depersonalisation: detachment from the body. It reminds you that you are real and that your actions are real too.
3: 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise
One of the symptoms of derealization is that the world around us starts to feel unreal. This can be caused by deliberately tuning-out environmental stimuli too much. One of the best mindfulness exercises for this is 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding. Identify five things you see, four things you touch, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste. This will help you to feel more in contact with the world around you.
4: Mindful Writing
Another fabulous mindfulness exercise for derealization is mindful writing. Grab a pen and paper and sit comfortably anywhere you like. Now write a description of the space you are in. You can describe the room (or wherever you are) , the objects around you, the sounds and scents and so on. I like to aim for one complete A4 piece of paper full of words objectively describing the space I’m in and my sensory experience of it. This should take around ten minutes. I did this every day for months a couple years ago and it made me feel far more connected to the world around me.
5: Focus on your reflection in a mirror
Stand in front of a mirror (preferably a full-length one) and smile at yourself. Now describe yourself. And no, don’t use words like “overweight” or anything else judgmental. Describe yourself in a purely logical, observational way. For example, for me right now, “I have mid-length black and white hair down to my ears, green-blue eyes, pale skin, thick plump lips, and a little bit of black and grey facial hair. So, as you can see, just describing yourself in a purely observational and non-judgmental way. This will help you to get back in touch with your body. And as a neat little bonus it will also help with any negative thoughts you have about yourself.
6: Identifying with beliefs
I’ve spoken before about how when Buddhist monks meditate they use dissociative techniques like Vipassana to reduce the influence of what they would call “impurities of the mind”. And then they practice associative meditations that attach them to core Buddhist beliefs like compassion and other aspects of the dharma. I’m going to recommend you do the same, but of course it is 100% up to you which beliefs you choose to identify with. What matters is that you dissociate from the impurities and then associate with purities, which will include whichever beliefs you follow. A couple of ways that you can do this are with Biblical meditation and Bhakti.
7: Meditate On Your Hands
There is a very strong connection between the brain and the hands, with a large portion of the brain being dedicated to the hands for sensory and motor function. Because of that, one of the best ways to enhance the mind-body connection and reduce derealization is to meditate on your hands. You can choose either to close your eyes and to focus on the feelings in your hands, or to keep your eyes open and mindfully explore your hands, investigating the way they look and feel. Either way, this simple exercise will help you to identify with your body, reducing the effects of DRDP / DDD.
More Exercises:
- These mindfulness exercises
- Tai chi
- Qigong
- Any Integrated-Body-Mind-Training
- Meditative Dance
- Traditional treatments for dissociation include psychotherapy and medication
Summary
Derealization and depersonalization are two of the most common side effects of meditation. Because I have helped very many people with these issues I do consider myself a bit of an expert in it, and in my experience the best solutions are to add associative meditations to your practice and to use the mindfulness exercises above. Of course, if you want the complete solution, and also want to go far further in your meditation practice, reserve a private meditation lesson with me today.
Paul Harrison is a meditation teacher with 20+ years of experience and a deep passion for helping others. Known for his empathy and authentic approach, he’s dedicated to guiding individuals and teams toward mindfulness, clarity, and well-being.