From the outside, my life seemed pretty amazing. My first husband and I had a beautiful house, three wonderful children, friends, a social life, and successful careers. I served actively in my church and attended on Sundays. By all appearances, I had achieved everything I had strived for, a life that I thought would bring me happiness and fulfillment.
Beneath that polished exterior, my reality was vastly different. My marriage was unraveling, and my life felt chaotic and empty. Confused, I found myself trapped in a cycle of poor decisions. I was a mess on the inside, barely holding it together, and everything around me seemed to be crumbling.
One Wednesday evening, as I sat alone in the back pew of my church, guilt, and shame overwhelmed me. The life I had worked so hard to build consumed and suffocated me; I knew I had strayed from the Lord. I realized I couldn’t continue down this path. Desperate for a way out, I pleaded with God, “How do I get out of this? I don’t want to live like this anymore. My ways aren’t working.”
Then the LORD spoke to my heart. He said, “Come to me. I’m all you need.”
I was so entangled in the mess I had created that I didn’t know where to begin. The despair grew heavier with each passing day, and the burden of my own choices was crushing me. My anxiety and stress escalated, and I hovered on the brink of collapse.
Eventually, I hit rock bottom. Within months, I lost almost everything I thought mattered—my marriage, my job, my house, my friends, my car, and my status. I moved back in with my parents, who stood by me with unwavering support. The icons of success vanished, and all I had left were my parents, who took me in without hesitation, and my three beautiful children, who remained my constant source of hope.
I had no idea what to do next. Utterly lost, unsure of the path forward, and unable to see what God was doing in my life, I simply had to start over. As I began to rebuild my life, I decided to surrender fully to Jesus, realizing that my ways had only led to destruction. Instead of relying on my own strength and understanding, I learned from Him, trusting He would guide me through this dark and challenging time.
My deepest longing became to have an intimate relationship with Jesus. Slowly, I started to rebuild my life on the foundation of Christ, brick by brick, day by day.
The transformation was profound. Where I had once been consumed by shame, I found freedom. The guilt that had weighed me down was lifted as I realized that in Christ, I was blameless. The fear that had paralyzed me was replaced by a deep sense of confidence, knowing that God was with me every step of the way. What had once felt like hopelessness turned into a clear sense of purpose. I knew exactly what I was living for—to glorify God, to praise Him, to worship Him, and to know Him intimately.
Over the 20-year journey since that time, I have come to see my true worth, not in the things I had once valued, but in the fact that I was created in God’s image. My selfish desires have been replaced with a desire to serve the One who created me.
I had feared hitting rock bottom would destroy me, instead, it made me stronger.
Looking back, I realize that hitting rock bottom was the best thing that could have happened to me. It stripped away all I thought I needed and led me to the one thing I truly needed—Jesus.
I’m deeply grateful for His discipline. God allowed me to tear down the life I had built and rebuild a new one according to His design for me. I now understand that what I thought I wanted was never what I truly needed. What I needed was a life lived for the Lord, and that life is far better than anything I could have imagined.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:30 NIV
LORD God, You are always the answer. I know You are calling, “Come to me, I’m all you need.” Help me to build my life daily upon You and step boldly into new places. Help me see beyond my own desires to the truth of Your will for my life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.