Last Saturday, I talked about Sexual Concordance, which is your mind feeling the same arousal your body is experiencing. Today, I want to talk about something similar; knowing why you want sex when you want it. Or perhaps I should say, knowing all the reasons you want sex.
I have sought sex when my body didn’t want it. I wanted sex for comfort, or to connect with my wife, or because it’s like snuggling on steroids. That didn’t happen when I was young because my body was always ready to go. But at 60+ and having plenty of sex, sometimes that’s where I am. And because I’ve learned what those sexual desire feel like, I am aware of them even when my body is ready, or more than ready.
That does not mean I always feel those things. Sometimes I’m just horny to enjoy my wife, because sex is so great. And sometimes I really need release from my sex drive. There are also times when sex serves as a reset of sorts after a crazy day or days. Yes, it helps me reset with Lori, but it can also help me feel normal in many other ways. We can also want sex to relax, or to help us sleep.
All of these are valid, and just fine with God. Your wife may or may not understand this, or be okay with it. She also has many reason to want sex, but if she struggles with knowing when she wants it, knowing why she wants it is unlikely.
Start thinking about this when you want sex. What are the various parts of your desire this time? Should why you want it change how you do it? Should it change how you judge how the sex was? If you don’t know why you want sex, you can’t get the sex you want.
Beyond knowing your sexuality better, if your wife is open to it, indicating why you want sex will help her meet your need. It should also help her think about why she wants sex. And that will make sex better for her, and probably cause her to want it more often.
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.