I wasn’t born into bougie.
Growing up, my family motto was more “make it work” than “make it luxe.”
My dad, with his barbed humor, used to call me his beekhni baby. In Hindi, that means his “beggar baby.” I was the child he and my mom prayed to have over 14 long years and then clothed in borrowed mismatched clothing. I happily made do with patched-up hand-me-downs and my mom’s lopsided sewing skills.
Back then, fun wasn’t something we paid for – it was something we found: riding bikes with the brakes half-broken or playing H-O-R-S-E with a strung-up laundry basket that had a hole cut out off the bottom.
Fast forward a couple of decades and life looks very different. My husband and I have clawed our way to a more stable, comfortable existence. Three kids, a lawn, a lawn service: check, check, and check.
Now my holiday shopping wish list includes not just matching pajamas – but heirloom-quality, ethically sourced, 100% organic Peruvian cotton pajama sets. I have dedicated countless hours and pored over a ludicrous number of Advent calendar options – a chocolate a day won’t do. Instead, I am seriously considering one where each day reveals something like hand-poured soy candles, tiny jars of manuka honey, or shot-sized kombucha bottles. For the kids? A Lego Advent calendar with a Christmas tree and presents to be built each day, naturally.
I never set out to be a bougie mom, but somewhere along the way – probably while debating the merits of an organic strawberry spread versus a honey walnut fig cream cheese with my friends – I realized I had arrived.
The limits of bougie
I’ll be honest: Thinking of myself as a bougie mom was a little difficult at first. Sure, I have a lifestyle that allows for some luxuries, but I’ve always thought of myself more as a thrifty mom or a climate-conscious mom – no different from any other mom but with the privilege of more resources and support to draw on.
But I also know that this privilege can’t completely shield my kids from climate change.
As a mom and a doctor, I see the fingerprints of climate change everywhere. Summers that used to mean carefree play in the backyard now come with heat advisories and air quality alerts. I’ve had to pull my kids inside after a simple midsummer walk, cheeks flushed red from heat that’s no longer normal.
I see it in many patients, too – kids with worsening asthma from wildfire smoke, families grappling with stress after a climate disaster, and parents like me trying to navigate an increasingly unpredictable world.
What shakes me the most is knowing this is just the beginning. My childhood was filled with seasons we could count on, predictability we took for granted. But for my daughters? They’re inheriting a world of extremes – longer heat waves, more frequent floods, and polluted air, water, and food that make it so much harder just to be well.
It’s hard to shake the helplessness that comes with that knowledge.
From helplessness to action
With every dire international report about climate change and the health risks of pollution, it is understandable to feel overwhelmed. As a mother sandwiched between competing priorities and juggling countless responsibilities, I’m aware that it is perfectly reasonable to tune out.
And if we’re being honest, the goal is to keep us on the sidelines. The goal is to confuse us out of caring, guilt us for our personal consumption of dirty fuels, and, behind the scenes, lobby to block us from achieving the promise of a clean, renewable energy transformation.
The biggest U.S. fossil fuel interest group has launched an eight-figure advertising campaign to obscure clear scientific consensus within a haze of false controversy. They don’t want us to recognize the urgency of the situation and want to lull us with false promises that they are solving the problem.
Here’s the thing, though: Fear, guilt, or wishful thinking don’t help anyone. They certainly won’t save our children’s environment.
We still have a window of opportunity – a clean, healthy, sustainable world for our children is still possible and achievable. Around the world, the blueprints already exist, and the ball is already rolling.
While schoolchildren and more seasoned generations worldwide are uniting to ensure a healthy and stable planet for future generations, bougie moms remain an untapped resource.
But no one is better than a bougie mom at plotting out a five- to 10-year window to optimize our children’s future. We’re the queens of organization, the masters of multitasking, and the unofficial CEOs of our households. Who better to demand better products, cleaner energy, and policies that prioritize a stable, livable future for our kids?
So here are four quick things out of my bougie mom’s climate playbook to leverage our time, energy, and financial investments to move us to the environmental action our families deserve.
1. Demand more and faster action
Close to two-thirds of American adults worry about climate change and 73% want our government to do more, but only 8% of us have ever contacted an elected official on this issue. Our elected officials and businesses need to hear that we want a rapid transition to cleaner, renewable energy, and safer products. Other nations are taking the lead on massive solar and wind energy projects, and I don’t want my children to be left behind.
I’ve saved the office phone numbers of two elected officials in my contacts. Consider doing the same (you can find them here). When you’re stuck in the pickup line at school or behind a school bus spewing toxic diesel exhaust at you and your kids, leave them a message to let them know your demands. Whether you prefer leaving a phone message or sending an email, local, state, and national leaders need to hear from us now more than ever.
Here’s a simple statement to get you started: “I’m a mom and I know that climate change and polluted environments are hurting my kids. I want you to support laws that will keep them safe and invest in a clean future.”
2. Outsource research
Bills that destroy the environment are often called “conservation” bills. Products with toxic chemicals are called “natural.” Without expertise, it is virtually impossible to know exactly what to demand from political leaders or which businesses to put my money behind.
But good information and solid expertise from “un-greenwashable sources” are out there. Many climate and environment-focused groups work together, share information about the most critical priorities for protecting the local environment, and demand the most robust action from our elected officials and businesses.
I follow a few. But to start, pick one group from your neck of the woods, whether it is a faith-based group, a health professional group, or an environmental law group. Follow their newsletter, and whenever they ask for a sign-on about a specific policy, participate. Share the information with your friends or bring it up at your next bougie book club meeting.
3. Protect our children’s inheritance
Like many families, we have probably thought extensively about our wills and protecting our children’s inheritance. Whatever we provide for them directly, also consider supporting or donating to legal teams that are fighting to protect our children’s natural inheritance worldwide. Our Children’s Trust is one example of a nonprofit legal team challenging our state and federal governments to uphold their duty to protect the natural world and preserve their right to a stable climate.
4. Decarbonize joy
Like all moms, we are doing the best we can with the time and money that we have to provide for our families. But I have found that my children have the most joy when I give them a free but often limited resource: my time and attention. When possible, I’m substituting finding comfort in retail therapy with nature therapy and trying to swap screen time for green time.
We’re going to the natural spaces where my children find the most magic: bugs crawling on leaves, birds flying through trees, and our own crunch, crunch, crunch, through the trails. I allow my kids to remind me what they inherently know: We are all connected in this beautiful, magical world.
Why bougie moms matter for climate
Bougie moms are a powerful force. We’ve reshaped industries, set trends, and turned yoga pants into an everyday uniform.
Our kids’ future depends on us stepping up. Yes, it’s overwhelming. Yes, it’s hard. But if there’s one thing motherhood has taught me, it’s that we are far more capable of protecting our kids than we give ourselves credit for.
So here’s my confession: I may not have started life as a bougie mom, but now that I’m here, I plan to use every bit of that power, practicality, and persistence to fight for a better future – for my daughters, for yours, and for every child who deserves to grow up on a healthy planet.
Only 28% of U.S. residents regularly hear about climate change in the media, but 77% want to know more. Help us bring climate news to more people.
