How Meditation Helped Me With BPD

If you’re living with BPD, meditation could be the solution, just not in the way you think, and you might actually be excellent at it…

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a journey of highs and lows. I know this all too well because it’s part of my story. For years, I wrestled with overwhelming emotions, impulsivity, and the chronic fear of abandonment. Therapy didn’t help me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find a way to manage the chaos in my mind.

Then, one day, an acting coach I admired suggested meditation. I remember feeling a spark of hope—something I hadn’t felt in a long time. He said it might make a big difference for me. That moment stuck with me, and I decided to give it a try.

What Is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition characterized by emotional instability, impulsive behaviors, and difficulties in relationships. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, BPD affects around 1.6% of the adult population in the United States and is often linked to trauma and heightened emotional sensitivity (NIMH, 2023).

For me, finding a tool that worked felt like an uphill battle—until I started meditating.

How Meditation Helped Me with BPD

When I first started meditating, I was hopeful but unsure. Sitting with my thoughts and feelings was intimidating, but I trusted my acting coach’s advice and started small. I began with simple breathing exercises, just a few minutes a day. Over time, meditation became something I looked forward to—a safe space to reconnect with myself.

Research supports the transformative effects of meditation for emotional regulation. A study by Sauer-Zavala et al. (2016) found that mindfulness-based practices can significantly reduce emotional reactivity in individuals with BPD. This aligned with my experience: meditation helped me pause before reacting, allowing me to observe my emotions without being consumed by them.

During moments of fear or abandonment, instead of spiraling, I focused on my breath. This grounding practice became a lifeline, helping me find calm in the storm of emotions that often accompany BPD.

Somatic Meditation and Its Power for BPD

It wasn’t until years later that I discovered the power of somatic meditation, but it’s now one of my favorite techniques—both for myself and in the lessons I teach. Somatic meditation focuses on connecting with the body and releasing stored trauma.

According to research by Van der Kolk (2014), trauma is often stored in the body, and body-based practices like somatic meditation can be instrumental in releasing these tensions. For those with BPD, this can be transformative. By tuning into physical sensations, you learn to regulate your emotions and let go of the past and the tension and trauma that it might have caused.

Somatic meditation has become one of the best tools I use, especially for trauma release and emotional regulation.

My Own Creation: A Character Strengths Meditation

Another meditation I developed—and one I wish I’d created earlier—is my character strengths meditation, which you can do on my Youtube.. This practice involves reflecting on your unique strengths, which can be incredibly grounding and empowering for those struggling with identity diffusion, a common symptom of BPD.

Research by Niemiec et al. (2020) suggests that focusing on character strengths improves self-esteem and mental well-being, particularly in individuals struggling with identity-related challenges. This meditation helped me rebuild a sense of self and has proven to be just as impactful for others I’ve shared it with. It encourages self-awareness and self-acceptance, making it a valuable tool for anyone dealing with BPD.

Best Meditation Techniques for Borderline Personality Disorder

Not all meditation practices work for everyone, but here are the techniques that have been most helpful for me and others:

• Somatic Meditation: Focuses on the body and helps release trauma while improving emotional regulation.
• Mindfulness Meditation: Observing thoughts and emotions without judgment develops emotional resilience. Studies show that mindfulness can reduce BPD symptoms like impulsivity and emotional dysregulation (Feliu-Soler et al., 2016).
• Loving-Kindness Meditation: Cultivating compassion for yourself and others eases self-criticism and promotes healing. Research by Fredrickson et al. (2008) highlights how loving-kindness meditation enhances emotional resilience and interpersonal connections.
• Character Strengths Meditation: Reflecting on your strengths helps with identity diffusion and builds a stronger sense of self.
• Breathing Exercises: Simple, intentional breaths calm the nervous system and ground you in overwhelming moments.

Why Meditation Worked When Therapy Didn’t

For me, therapy didn’t resonate. It felt too rigid, and I could sense when my therapist wasn’t truly present. As someone with extreme empathy, I could tell they were just going through the motions, which made it difficult to trust or feel genuinely understood.

Meditation, however, gave me practical tools I could use in the moment. It allowed me to sit with my feelings without trying to change or suppress them. Over time, I built self-awareness and resilience, which transformed my ability to navigate life with BPD.

Starting Your Own Meditation Practice

If you’re living with BPD and considering meditation, here are a few tips:

• Start Small: Just five minutes a day can make a difference.
• Be Patient: Progress takes time, so be kind to yourself as you learn.
• Experiment: Try different meditation techniques to see what resonates with you.

Why BPD Might Make You Better At Meditation

As people with BPD, our ability to experience emotions so intensely makes us incredibly attuned to the emotional states we practice in meditation. Because I’m so sensitive to emotions, when I focus on something calming like my breath, I’ll calm quickly, when I meditate on love and compassion as in Loving Kindness meditation, I’ll feel those emotions quickly and more deeply than most meditators do. Because of emotional sensitivity, we meditators who have BPD will experience whatever the pleasant emotion of the meditation is more quickly and more powerfully than the average person does.

According to Lutz et al. (2008), who studied the impact of mindfulness meditation on brain function, emotional sensitivity can actually enhance the benefits of meditation. The heightened awareness of emotional states makes it easier for individuals to stay present, process emotions more effectively, and achieve a deeper sense of calm and self-regulation.

This ability to feel deeply means that, for people with BPD, it’s easier to respond to positive emotions during meditation. When I practice compassion in a Loving Kindness meditation, for example, I notice that I can adopt that compassionate mindset almost immediately. I feel the shift in my heart, and that shift happens much quicker than it might for someone without the same emotional sensitivity.

Plus, we have a less rigid sense of self we can use meditation to mold ourselves into who we want to become. Let’s say, just as an example, that we want to be Buddhist and follow the dharma. We folk with BPD and more flexible personalities will adapt to that lifestyle, to that personality, than someone with a more rigid sense of personality will. And so when we meditate on positive character qualities (like in Bhakti meditation) we will adapt much more rapidly.

My BPD Makes Me An Amazing Meditation Teacher

If you happen to already be a highly experienced meditator, your BPD will also make you a better meditation teacher. Why? Because of heightened empathy.

Many people with BPD exhibit heightened empathy. And according to Siegel (2007), research shows that empathy and emotional attunement are crucial for both teaching and learning mindfulness-based interventions. Being able to relate to students on an emotional level allows for deeper connection and a more effective meditation practice, which is especially true when working with those who struggle with emotional regulation, like those with BPD.

As a meditation teacher with BPD, I can deeply empathize with my students. I’ve been where they are. I’ve felt the emotional chaos, the self-doubt, and the loneliness that often comes with mental health conditions. My extreme empathy helps me connect with them in a way that’s different from other meditation teachers. I know exactly what it feels like to have emotions out of control, and that makes it easier for me to guide others through their own struggles.

I also bring my own emotions into my teaching. Meditation isn’t just about following instructions—it’s about embodying the emotional state I want to share. When I guide a session, I make sure I’m genuinely feeling the calmness, the compassion, or the peace that I want my students to experience. I know they can pick up on those emotions, even if they’re not consciously aware of it, and so I want to embody positive emotions that they then adopt for themselves. And I believe that makes me an excellent meditation teacher, especially for people with BPD.

My Message to Others with BPD

If you’re struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder, know that healing is possible. Meditation isn’t a cure, but it can be a powerful tool for finding balance and self-compassion. It gave me a way to connect with myself in a way that nothing else had.

If you’d like guidance as you begin or deepen your meditation practice, I’m here to help. Having walked this path myself, I understand how challenging it can feel. Sometimes, just having someone who gets it makes all the difference. So definitely do consider taking lessons with me.

I hope my story inspires you to explore meditation as part of your journey. Whether it’s somatic meditation, mindfulness, or reflecting on your strengths, there’s a path to peace—one breath at a time.

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References

[1] Feliu-Soler, A., Pascual, J. C., Elices, M., Martín-Blanco, A., Carmona, C., & Soler, J. (2016). Fostering self-compassion and loving-kindness in patients with borderline personality disorder: A randomized pilot study. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 23(4), 298–311.

[2] Fredrickson, B. L., Cohn, M. A., Coffey, K. A., Pek, J., & Finkel, S. M. (2008). Open hearts build lives: Positive emotions, induced through loving-kindness meditation, build consequential personal resources. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(5), 1045–1062.

[3] Niemiec, R. M., Rashid, T., & Spinella, C. (2020). Strong minds, kind hearts: The essential role of character strengths in counseling and psychotherapy. The Counseling Psychologist, 48(7), 960–989.

[4] National Institute of Mental Health. (2023). Borderline personality disorder.