It’s been 50 plus years of emotional and mental illness for this hombre. And by far, dissociation is the scariest phenomenon I’ve encountered. So derealization and depersonalization: perceived madness – let’s get down to business.
Experiencing just one episode of derealization or depersonalization would motivate anyone to scour the net for answers and explanations.
That’s how it was for me. But libraries and bookstores had to do because the World Wide Web didn’t exist in those days.
I first posted this three part series 14 years ago. Given derealization and depersonalization are frequently discussed in our neck of the woods, I decided to do an update and repost. The original comments remain.
Let’s get started on part one…
What are derealization and depersonalization?
No doubt about it, derealization and depersonalization (DD) are two of the most horrifying phenomena within the realm of emotional and mental illness.
As I said, I’ve experienced both, and I can tell you they can be absolutely mind-blowing and crippling. Trust me, they’ll convince you that you’ve gone mad.
DD are most often dissociative symptoms of other conditions. However, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR) has a diagnostic code for depersonalization/derealization disorder.
Derealization
Derealization is a disturbing sensation of unreality and detachment from your immediate world. During an episode, you can see clearly and have no problem with orientation, but it’s as though you’re operating in a very exclusive dimension.
As derealization presents, you become extremely concerned about what to do and how to find help. See, it’s all about the fear of being and appearing, well, out of control – and your mind.
Our first get-together
I remember my first encounter with derealization as if it were yesterday. I was nine years old and our family was visiting friends.
We were all sitting at the kitchen table, and I happened to look at the hand of one of our hosts. He had a finger missing, and it was like BAM! Derealization hit and I had absolutely no idea what was going down.
My fight/flight response kicked in, so I abruptly left the table and headed for the bathroom. Fact of the matter was, I wanted to bolt out the back door and run – and run and run – for years.
I had several more episodes as a kid, and it paid a return visit during my junior year in college. It became an on-again, off-again issue into my early-30s. Cool thing is, it hasn’t been problematic for many years.
For the record, I consider my junior year in college the starting point of my full-blown emotional and mental illness.
Depersonalization
Just as derealization is an external perceptual issue, depersonalization is an equally disturbing self-perception phenomenon.
My first taste of it was during that infamous junior year in college. I’ll never forget walking into the house a bunch of us guys rented and looking at a photo of us taken at a party. There was this guy in the back row, center who looked really familiar. Hmm, I knew who he was, but didn’t. Well, you guessed it, he was me.
Just like derealization, I dealt with depersonalization into my early 30s, and it hasn’t been an issue since.
What causes derealization and depersonalization?
“With 8 billion people in this world, I can’t be the only one tormented by this. Does anyone have a clue as to what causes it?”
Sorry to have to say it, but the bottom-line causes of emotional and mental illnesses are unknown. That’s the brain for you.
Still, there are non-biological and biological factors – triggers, contributors, predispositions, research-backed theories – that can be very helpful to know.
The factors
We’ll give much more attention to causes in part two, but let’s go ahead and check out some of those helpful factors…
- The two biggest non-biological players in the generation of DD are trauma and prolonged stress and anxiety.
- Derealization has been linked to childhood trauma, with severity correlating directly with the reported severity of childhood maltreatment.
- DD can be symptoms of numerous emotional and mental, as well as physical, illnesses: borderline personality disorder, anxiety disorders, depression, schizophrenia, substance use and withdrawal, hypothyroidism or endocrine disorders, migraines, neurological seizures, and more.
- It makes sense that there appears to be a relationship between DD, near-death experiences, and out-of-body experiences.
- Specific brain cells and circuits involved in generating dissociation have recently been identified. That allowed researchers to discover a characteristic rhythm/oscillation in a portion of the cortex which is connected to other brain areas associated with the generation of awareness.
How ‘bout those? Knowledge is power – and help – right?
Coming soon: part two
Okay, the series is rolling, but there’s much more to go – and learn. And learning leads to hope and relief. Always has for me.
As you wait for part two, keep in mind that as tormenting as DD are, they don’t make you a cinch for a psych admission. And their stay doesn’t have to be long-term.
Coming soon: part two. Stay tuned.
Those Chipur emotional and mental illness info and inspiration articles: peruse the titles.
After a decades-long battle with panic, generalized anxiety, fluctuating moods, and alcohol dependence; Bill finally found his life’s passion and work – lending a hand to those in the same boat. At age 49 he hit grad school and earned his counseling credentials. And he continues his service through Chipur and other projects.